Be Kind

My Dad passed away last month. I’m still not ready to write or talk about it just yet, and don’t think I ever will be.

However, what I am ready to talk about is the importance of being kind.

A few days after my Dad passed away, we began the funeral preparations. Something that you never think you’ll have to do for a parent at the age of 23.

You pick the flowers, the type of casket, fonts, designs, pictures, music. In short, it’s overwhelming to the point that it consumes you.

Two days before my Dads wake, I visited the funeral home.

I wanted one on one time with my Dad prior to everyone else paying their respects, and my wish was accommodated.

I was greeted by a young man named Matt.

He was our Funeral Director.

Matt was the epitome of what it means to be kind and empathetic. And trust me when I say he didn’t have to do any of it. Funerals are emotional, but they are also a business.

For Matt, I was one of the hundreds of sobbing people he had seen in his career. But he didn’t make it seem as such.

He asked me if I was ok all the time.

He shared with us some personal stories of his own loved ones, who had passed away the same way my Dad did.

Matt accommodated everything we asked for, which was very difficult given the complexity that comes with holding a funeral during a pandemic.

Matt worked with our Parish priest to ensure what we envisioned was carried out.

He let the funeral procession drive by my family home so my Dad could get his final goodbye.

He provided us with an additional day for the wake, in order to accommodate the number of people who wanted to come and see my Dad.

Maybe he did all this for the sake of customer service. Perhaps he goes above and beyond with every family he works with.

Regardless of intent, Matt took an experience of mine, which I argue will be the most vulnerable one of my life, and he made it easier with his patience, understanding and genuine desire to help.

You never know the impact you can have on someone by just being kind.

In a world with so much sadness, anger and darkness — I hope I can always try to be like Matt.

Even on my worst days, there are likely many, many people who are struggling much more.

I’m not trying to say you should undermine your own pain, because putting yourself first is also important.

However, sometimes if you have the strength within you to be kind to anyone and everyone — you should try.

The world would be a happier and more wholesome place if everyone just tried.

My Dad was very similar to Matt, in that he took every opportunity to be kind to strangers.

I always wondered why.

Why so much small talk with the waitress at my birthday dinner?

Why did he always talk to the guy at Home Depot like he was his long lost brother?

Why did he shovel our neighbours driveway every winter?

Why did he go to our family friends house the day after her husband passed away and help them take care of all their car ownerships?

Why did he used to always buy beer and pizza for people who came to work on our house during renovations?

Why did he follow up with customers once a week after service appointments?

Why did he drop everything during work and drive to the middle of a highway when my cousin got into a car accident?

Why did he invite his co-workers to his office everyday and encourage them to be the best that they can be?

He wanted people to feel his kindness.

In a world with so much sadness, anger and darkness —be like Matt, be like my Dad, be you, but always be kind.